I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
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