Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
