I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
