even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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