You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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