We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
