I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just forgot I was standing up.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
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