please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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