Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
