im gay
i know
yea but for you.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize