the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
