I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
