i think my tv is drunk
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I want to fling myself into the sun
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
