I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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