Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
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