And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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