went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
