I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
