she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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