I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
