I think im going to throw up on grandma
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
