bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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