jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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