i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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