im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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