you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
