Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
