He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
