I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
