I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
