all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
4 words: hood of his car
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
