You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize