Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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