Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
