one two three fourrrrnication!
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
