i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
