Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize