god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize