Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
