Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
