Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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