I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize