dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
