You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
