You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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