My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
