I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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