dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
