Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
