The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
