can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
