there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
i out mim tonsoeep
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