You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
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