I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
