We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
