honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
