do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
