oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
smell my finger.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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