It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
