Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
