you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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