GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize