it wasn't lemon gatorade
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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