Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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